My Child Turned 18—Now What?

When your child turns 18, the experience can be emotional. Your baby’s passage into adulthood suddenly becomes real, and even if you think you’re ready, it happens a lot sooner than you were likely anticipating, especially if your child is still a dependent.

A lot of changes occur with an 18-year-old, and not just those having to do with college, car keys, and career choice. Specifically, your rights as a parent diminish when your child turns 18, including the right to know anything about their finances, medical condition, or even school records. That means, for example, that if your 18-year-old were injured, you might not have the right to make medical decisions on their behalf.

However, if you have the right legal paperwork in place, you may still access your 18-year-old’s records in certain circumstances.

To be ready, consider these documents you need when a child turns 18:

HIPAA release and medical power of attorney. If you want access to your child’s medical records and the ability to make healthcare decisions on your child’s behalf, ask your child to sign a HIPAA release form, along with a healthcare power of attorney (HCPA).

The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, commonly called HIPAA, prevents anyone not named in a signed release from receiving medical information about another adult. Whether that the adult is your child does not matter. Without authorization, parents are not entitled to access these records, even if their child is still on their health insurance. If your 18-year-old is hesitant to provide a blanket release, they can use the authorization form to limit what information is released to you.

Most experts recommend a full blanket authorization since you may not know in advance the nature of the medical condition of your child. You should have the signed authorization in your possession so you can show it to any doctor, hospital, or other medical provider as needed.

The HIPAA release gives parents only the right to information; it does not give parents the right to make any medical decisions for their child. A medical power of attorney—sometimes called a healthcare power of attorney or a healthcare proxy—is another document you need when your child turns 18. This document is also sometimes called a durable power of attorney for healthcare (as opposed to just a durable power of attorney, which pertains only to business issues).

Typically, the medical power of attorney does not become active unless your son or daughter is physically or mentally incapable of making his or her own medical decisions—although each state has its own criteria, including whether the document must be witnessed or notarized. A medical power of attorney is not the same as a living will.

Your child may want to go one step further by completing a living will in which they outline instructions for end-of-life treatment. Your child can determine ahead of time what type of life-sustaining treatment they would want to receive in a medical crisis. Your child can also include other instructions on this form, such as donating organs. While this may not be an easy conversation, it is an important one to have now that your child is an adult.

Financial durable power of attorney. Now that your child is 18, they have  the right to control his or her own finances. To have access to your child’s financial information or conduct financial business on your child’s behalf, your child must name you as an agent in a financial power of attorney.

A financial durable power of attorney specifies what types of financial powers you will have, such as being able to write checks, buy/sell/rent real estate, contact creditors, make investments, or conduct other financial business on your child’s behalf.

The durable power of attorney specifies when you receive these powers. You can have the document go into effect:

• Immediately.
• Only if your child becomes incapacitated (called a “springing” power of attorney).
• For a certain period of time, such as one year from the date of signing the document or while your child is in college.
• Upon other specified events, such as during any period of time your child is out of the country.

Having a durable power of attorney can help you maintain your child’s finances while they are out of town. For example, if your child does a year abroad, this document can help you contact their insurance company or renew their vehicle registration. Or, if your child has a car accident and is unable to make financial decisions, you can step in.

Educational records release. If your child is heading to college, you may also need an educational records release. The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act requires that students 18 or older provide written consent before their educational records are provided to their parents.

Your child’s educational records are considered private—even if you are paying the tuition bill. Without an educational records release, you might not be able to receive your child’s grade report, you might not know if an academic scholarship is in jeopardy, and you might not be notified if your child’s grades drop to such a degree that shows they may be having mental health or other troubles.

You may not receive notification that your child’s financial aid documents are incomplete, either. All these situations can put your child’s education and your own finances at risk. Colleges usually have a specific form that students can sign that authorizes the school to release education information to parents.

Selective Service. Once your son reaches 18, he needs to register with the Selective Service within have 30 days. Failure to register with Selective Service is a violation of the Military Selective Service Act. Conviction for such a violation may result in imprisonment for up to five years and/or a fine of not more than $250,000.

Virtually all men must register with Selective Service, even those who believe they will be exempt from serving. By registering, a young man remains eligible for jobs, federal student aid, state-based student aid in 31 states, federally funded job training, and U.S. citizenship for immigrant men. In the event of a draft, men called for induction would be able to make a claim for deferments, postponements, or exemption from serving.

Women currently do not have to sign up for Selective Service. However, the American Civil Liberties Union, representing the National Coalition for Men, recently filed a petition to the Supreme Court to clarify the situation after a previous lower court ruling declared the draft unconstitutional for excluding women. The Biden administration has filed a brief saying that, because Congress is considering bills requiring women to sign up for the draft, the high court should let the legislative branch resolve the question.

Next steps. Most of the documents you need when a child turns 18 can be created without hiring a lawyer, although some people choose to involve an attorney to make sure the paperwork is completely accurate.

Either way, make sure to sit down with your child and review all documentation before you ask them to sign anything. Discuss the reason for the document or form, consider your child’s concerns, and, in general, do your best to treat them like the adult they have now become. After all, their reaching adulthood is the reason why these documents are necessary.